Right Words Can Heal Your Heart
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Three words, `I love you', have changed lives miraculously while the
three dreaded words `i hate you' have often triggered off violence. `Sorry',
`please' and `thank you' have worked wonders. Some words can give you ulcers,
heartburns, or bruised egos. Rahim the poet warned us against using rude words.
He said, ``be cautious in speaking. When you injure another with your words the
bond of friendship breaks forever. Even if the relationship is mended there
will always remain a knot.'' so, beware of words. ``blind man's son is blind
too,'' laughed Draupadi, when Duryodhana slipped and fell in the palace of the
Pandavas, mistaking the glass floor for water. Draupadi's words of mockery set
the stage for battle in the Mahabharata .
However, harsh words cannot cause
trouble if we refuse to react in a negative fashion. Says Shri aasaramji bapu,
``do not let any one's harsh words govern your moods. Why should envy, fear,
anger, lust, attachment and greed cause a storm in you? Be calm and you will
always be happy. Only in a happy heart can spirituality unfold itself. To
achieve self-realisation you must be happy and successful. To be happy is to be
successful. Lust and anger destroy tranquillity and prompt us to run after
illusory objects to gain a temporary feeling of satisfaction and a delusory
feeling of fulfilment.
People are the same; they give back what they receive from you. Yet, day
in and day out people inflict poisonous darts on each other.
Sri Sri Paramhansa Yogananda said: ``when you feel tempted to speak
harshly, control that impulse and talk calmly instead. Let no one hear harsh
words from you. Be not afraid to speak the truth when you are asked to do so;
but do not force your thoughts on others. You may be speaking the truth when
you speak of a blind man as a blind man, or of a sick man as a sick man but
more politically correct words can be used so that sensibilities are not hurt.
Some people turn sick with jealousy, others with anger, hatred and passion.
They are victims of their emotions. You made your habits; you can change
them.''
In the Ramayana, Kaikeyi and Mantara were apprehensive of Sri Rama's
return to Ayodhya after his 14-year-long exile. Realising their predicament Sri
Rama paid his respects first to Kaikeyi and only then went to meet his own
mother. He then spoke kind words and consoled Mantara and even asked her to
continue living in the palace as before. Kabir once proclaimed, ``speak words
that can make others forget their miseries. Utter words that can soothe others
and which will also help you keep your cool.''
The Chandogya Upanishad classifies the four
characters of the ``mind-brahman'' as nose, eyes, ears and speech. These four
are instrumental in taking the mind towards brahman . The
organ of speech or vag indriya seriously
distracts the mind. Swami Sivananda strongly advised against the misuse of
words. Observe mauna or a vow of silence at
least once a week, he said, as much energy is lost in talking. The energy thus
saved becomes transmuted into spiritual energy. Will-power becomes stronger,
one becomes less restless, and a certain inner calm is achieved. This is
the tapasya of speech. A disturbed mind can never be
spiritually inclined. In the beginning various thoughts force one to break the
vow of silence. One has to be wary of such distractions. The mind has to be
occupied with positive thoughts. Restraining ourselves from speaking
unnecessarily requires considerable effort. Once inner tranquillity is
achieved, Mauna of the mind will come
automatically. The mind becomes ready to meditate on Brahman . Only he who can fix his mind on god --
even if for two minutes, without distraction - can indulge in self-analysis.
Books and gurus can only guide you on how to behave. Ultimately, it is you who
has to conquer your mind. We have been gifted with the power of reasoning so
that we can discriminate and exert self-control on our senses to evolve into
better human beings. Lord Krishna therefore warns us, `likes and dislikes of
the senses for their sense-objects are natural. Let none allow himself to be
swayed by them; they are his two enemies on his way to success.'' Krishna has
said that these are the two foes, the gross expressions of the subtle vasanas or bondages in us, which can rob the
seeker from perfection.
THE SPEAKING
TREE
Right Words Can Heal Your Heart
SEEMA BURMAN, Aug 25, 2001
